One-on-ones are the foundation of equitable leadership

I randomly popped into a #LeadersChat Space last night on Twitter, hosted by Jennifer Tsang & Syed Moiz. We ended up having a good conversation about the purpose and power of one-on-ones (which I abbreviate as 1:1s) as a psychologically safe space for direct reports, and how they aren't particularly effective when used as a status update meeting. So in a special edition of my newsletter, I want to elaborate on this idea.

Chances are, your team is following some sort of project planning methodology, whether it be Scrum, waterfall, Lean, or whatever. Why use 1:1s to rehash information that everyone should be getting from project tracking tools? If you're a manager that is doing this, perhaps it's worth revisiting what is missing from your process that you feel the need to talk about project statuses in your 1:1s.

I think of 1:1s as an opportunity for managers to check in with, and continuously invest in, the long-term growth and success of their team members. To me, this means less status updates and more morale, goals, and feedback conversations. However, this doesn't mean that my 1:1s have no structure. The topics can vary depending on what's going on with each of my team members, but the broad strokes are consistent over time.

Consistency in 1:1 topics is incredibly important from an equity standpoint. Research shows that women, especially Black women, do not receive consistent, actionable feedback and support that would allow them to grow and advance in their careers. Compounded over time, this could severely stunt a person's career opportunities, limiting their ability to do things like build generational wealth and invest in their communities.

Becoming a people manager means taking on the very big responsibility of helping to shape someone's career, not just in the current moment, but potentially for life. 

Let that sink in for a second.

It's not a responsibility that should be taken lightly, but it often is because so many leaders think about their employees merely as sources of revenue generation, instead of humans trying to live meaningful lives. It's one major reason that I decided to start this newsletter—because I got ahead by conforming to the practices that create these deep-seated inequities, but also because I didn't know there was any other way. However, that's another set of stories for other newsletters, so I digress.

Back on the topic of structured, but people-centric 1:1s, I want to share the general categories of topics I cover in my meetings. I credit the excellent Nicole Sanchez (Vaya Consulting) for giving me the foundation for this list.

1. Overall sentiment (How are you? What was energizing this week? What's giving you stress?)

2. Team member's topics (What do you want to talk about today?)

3. Growth and development (You mentioned wanting to learn/do X. How's that going? Anything blocking you from making progress? What can I help take off your plate to enable you? Note: This topic is about personal goals and interests, which may overlap with ongoing projects, so I often have to be vigilant about not letting this slip into status update territory.)

4. Giving feedback (not forgetting to celebrate any wins/positive feedback as well)

5. Asking for feedback (How can I be a better manager for you? Is there anything I should start or stop doing?)

6. Self-care (When is your next time off? How have you shown up for yourself recently?)

7. Leaving space (Ask, "What else?" and see what comes up)

Oftentimes the course of conversation in a 1:1 will naturally touch on most of these topics so that I don't need to prompt for them, but I keep this list handy as a reminder. I also make time after each 1:1 to write down my own thoughts and reflections on the conversation, both as a means to remember the details that often get lost in the day-to-day shuffle, but also as a resource for mitigating recency bias when getting into things like the much-dreaded performance review. (More on that topic soon.)

If this sounds like a lot of time and investment in a single 1:1, that's because it's meant to be. I spent so many of my early years as a manager running from one meeting to the next, packing in 1:1s back to back, without taking any time to really think about how to best support my team. I was oversubscribed myself, true, but I was also stuck in the mindset that I also had to be doing things, producing things—that simply making space to think about my team members was not an effective use of my time. Only more recently have I come to realize that the space to think is where some of my most wild, creative, and successful ideas have come from.

If you're a leader reading this, my challenge for you today is to mull over these questions, and seek out the answers if you don't know:

• How much of my time is spent being reactive instead of proactive?

• Do I have a plan for how I can help set each of my employees up for success?

• If members of my team were to resign today, what would reason(s) would they cite?